Going into labour at 24 weeks

 

delilah

Hello lovelies,

I have been wanting to write this post for quite a while now but a part of me has also been scared to let myself relive it all step by step. Having my daughter was one of the best days of my life but I would also be telling a lie if I didn’t admit it was also one of the most terrifying.

My little girl is now just over ten months and I have reached the point where I want and need her story to be out there in the world, now I will warn you this is going to be a bit of a long one so you may want to grab yourself a cup of tea and maybe some snacks before we settle down.

As you can imagine I really didn’t expect to go into labour  at 24 weeks and although I can’t say I had the smoothest pregnancy ever (hello morning, noon and night sickness) nothing ever led anyone to believe I would go into premature labour.

Anyone that has been reading this little blog of mine for a while may know that back in 2014 I sadly had an early miscarriage, so of course I was slightly more wary this time around and for the first couple of months I was utterly convinced that something was going to go wrong, and I did have my fair share of scares along the way such as a bleed at nine weeks that meant I had to have an emergency early scan that thankfully showed everything to be fine, but then it happened again at eleven weeks once again somehow everything was fine and our little baby was safe and over the next few weeks I finally got to enjoy some of the more fun parts of pregnancy such as my twelve week scan and my twenty week scan which happily showed that we were having a little girl. After that apart from horrendous morning sickness that lasted the whole way thorough my pregnancy everything finally started to calm down.

That was until the 30th of June 2015 (which was ironically my due date with my first little one) Ben and I had been dreading the day anyway but when I woke up that morning I started to have a massive bleed and we ended up spending the day in the hospital, but I got the all clear and after an anti-D injection I was sent on my way. But actually looking back at that day now I really think that was the start of everything to come.

So now we have the basic’s of the story up until the 6th of July the day my pregnancy reached 24 weeks. It started off as a perfectly normal day, My partner Ben was working shifts at the time so on that day he had left for work at half past five in the morning and as per usual I stayed up for a bit after he had left and had a cup of tea ( which was basically the only thing i would be able to keep down this wasn’t  a baby that liked food ) when all of sudden at 6am i started to get some strange twinges that i just put down to a bad back but actually looking back this was the start of my contractions.

These pain’s carried on coming and going for the rest of the morning and funnily enough my eldest step-son spent the morning saying that he thought I was in labour as did my mother, but  I truly never thought it for a second and just thought they were being a tad dramatic (did I mention I’m an idiot???)

I desperately needed to go into town that day and thankfully because I didn’t feel great my mother came with me and so I spent the next few hours trying to distract myself whilst my mum looked on worriedly as I was having to stop and sit down every ten minutes (how the hell did i not see this was labour?)

I tried really hard just to stay calm and tell everyone else not to worry and at around ten pm the pain had started to get a tad worse but because I could still feel baby moving around I simply put it down to my mind working overtime.

At around eleven I tried my best to get some rest but as I lay down on the bed I had a sudden heavy pressure at the bottom of my stomach and I can remember clearly thinking hmm if  I was further along I would have thought that was labour, but again being an idiot I quickly told myself to shut up, then over the next hour or so the pain was getting increasingly worse and I finally started to feel like something really wasn’t right (about bloody time Benita) so it was at that point I called 111 and after explaining how I felt the operator sent a paramedic out.

Around half an hour later a lovely paramedic turned up, checked me over and said he wanted me to get checked out at the hospital just to make sure everything was fine as the pain was rather bad at this point and I was getting then every six to seven minutes.

On the way to the hospital he and Ben even joked about it being labour (hahaha how funny …) The thing is no-one was actually that worried as apart from these odd pains I felt fine and most importantly I wasn’t bleeding.

Then at one am everything changed one midwife asked me to do a urine sample ( TMI I know but this whole post is TMI so hey ho) as soon as went into the toilet I instantly saw blood and my heart dropped.

It was only  around two months ago that Ben finally told me it was actually in that moment that he thought we had lost her. but at the time he was so calm whilst I sat there not knowing what the heck to think.

A little while later a lovely doctor can in to check me over and she said that she couldn’t see my cervix very well because of the blood she wanted to get a second opinion but as she said this there was a look on her face and my heart just dropped even more, looking back I can clearly see that she knew (hindsight is a wonderful thing)

A few moments later a male doctor came in checked me over simply said okay and then walked off.

Now I have no idea how much later the next part happened but by this point the pains where every few minutes and a very nice midwife came in and said right were just going to take to down to the delivery ward and somehow in the next few seconds the room was full of people who we were told were from the neonatal team and how they where going to look after our baby and what would happen in the minutes after her birth. Cue Ben and I looking at each other and saying what quite a lot, and it was at the point that one of the nice people informed us that I was actually six centimeters dilated.

My first thought after being given this information was how the hell do we stop this, I vaguely remember reading things in the past where they stop labour, I had heard of it happening, I had hope.

The hope was short lived … Sorry we can’t do that one of the many doctors said and rather than feeling my heart drop further it just plain broke, I burst into tears and listened as people told us how tiny she would be and how they really wanted to be able to move us both to Oxford before she was born but they didn’t know if they had time but that they would move her afterwards.

We didn’t know if I was going to give birth that day, the next day or the next week no one knew.

So I was moved down to the delivery ward by which point I was a hell of a lot of pain and really had a strong urge to pee but couldn’t, then at 4 am my waters broke and to this day its the worst pain I have felt in my life and from what I know that part isn’t really supposed to hurt that much so whether that’s pointing to the reason that I had her so early I just don’t know as to this day I have never been told why this happened.

Anyway back to the horrendous pain, the next few hours pass in just a blur of contractions, scans and me telling everyone to fuck off (at least most of the last one was in my head)

Just after seven am another midwife entered the room and as her and the original midwife done their handover thingy my contractions started to get even worse all of a sudden and I had a bit of a weird feeling, cue me saying this and the original midwife telling me it’s fine, then it happened again about a minuet later but this time I really wanted to push and again I tell the midwife that something is happening.

And its at that point that she tells me I’m just panicking and it’s all fine. This annoyed me a little bit and I actually felt really rather calm but however I could feel the baby coming and so as this was all happening I somehow very calmly told her I wasn’t panicking but I did want to push, I knew this was the moment I had to stay calm just to get her to believe me, she then kind of sighed (don’t get me wrong she was lovely but I just don’t think she thought it would happen that quickly) So she sighed and moved the sheet off of me and I can still picture the look of pure panic on her face and her saying oh she’s coming and running out of the room (Ben later informed me she was shouting for every doctor that we had a twenty-four weeker coming right now but I didn’t know about any of that at the time) All I knew was that lovely new midwife was trying her best to keep me calm and tell ing me to try to not push (harder said then done trust me)

Suddenly there was a very lot of people in the room once again and Delilah Elizabeth Sweetness was born at 07:24 on the 07/07/2015 weighing in at 1 pound 6 ounces

I had one person telling me HE was lovely and another saying SHE was beautiful so I spent a few minutes wondering whether I had a son or a daughter. And watching on helplessly as three women calmly worked on Delilah (she was a girl yay)  Oh and FYI those three women where wonderful throughout our entire nicu stay and i will never be able to thank them enough for helping save my little girl’s life.

They spent the next five to ten minutes ventilating Delilah and making her safe enough to travel up to NICU (New Born Intensive Care Unit) but because she kept spitting out her tubes I got to hear one tiny cry from my daughter before she was whisked away upstairs . I then delivered my placenta and had a shower ( the second midwife was so lovely that she ran around finding me shower bits and bobs as I didn’t have a single thing with me)

As soon as we could we went upstairs and saw our beautiful tiny girl in her incubator for the very first time as the team from Oxford arrived and started to get everything ready to transfer her across. Those few hours are such a blur that the only things I can really remember is one of the nurses coming over and asking if Delilah had a H on the end of it or not as they where making up her little name card. And Reg the ambulance driver making Ben and I a cup of tea and I can remember thinking and hoping it was a really good sign that he shared the same name as my granddad (It made me feel like he was watching over her as she traveled between hospitals)

So suddenly we had a beautiful small but amazingly perfect little girl and at twelve pm she was rushed off to the john radcliff hospital whilst I had to wait to be transferred over (which didn’t happen for another eight hours) and I spent those hours just hoping she would make it until i got there.

But that part of the story can wait until another day as this post is certainly long enough.

Delilah (or Lilah for short) is now ten months and five days old and not a second passes by that we don’t realise just how lucky we are to have her home, she never fails to amazing me with just how strong and brilliant she actually is, if you see her today you would never realise what a journey she has had in her little life (the main thing that gives it away is the fact that she’s still only the size of a five or six month old although of course she is massive to us) And I am so thankful to every single Doctor and Nurse that not only helped make our little girl strong and keep her safe but also kept me slightly sane in our five month stay with them.

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Thanks for reading lovelies

Love Benita x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All The Things Happened

 

Hello Lovelies,

Wow so it’s been quite a while since I last posted on here and boy life has changed rather a lot, you may remember one of my last blog post’s on this site was telling you all of my new years resolutions for 2015 which was actually posted around this time last year (although that seems like a lifetime ago) and one of those resolutions was to try for a baby.

And at the end of February last year Ben and I got the news we where waiting for. Because of our miscarriage in 2014 I waited quite a while to take a pregnancy test this time as I was slightly terrified and so when we finally saw those two pink lines I was already six week’s pregnant and  I couldn’t say it was the easiest pregnancy ever as I had a few scares along the way and was constantly sick it got to the point where the only thing I could eat or drink in a day was a cup of tea even the thought of anything else would make me ill, but I still loved being pregnant. And at my twelve week scan which was actually my third scan (as I mentioned we had a few scares along the way) my due date was confirmed for October the 26th (yay!) then when I had my twenty week scan we found out we were having a little girl eek!!!

So everything was going really well and I was even getting ready to write a few pregnancy blog posts but then the day I reached the 24 week mark something happened and that something changed everything. I woke up that morning and felt not quite right but for once didn’t think too much about it and just thought it was normal pregnancy aches and pains until I decided to go into hospital at one o clock the next morning and six hours later had given birth to a tiny but perfect baby girl.

obviously a lot of thing’s happened in-between those hours but I will do a full labor and birth story at another time other wise this is just going to go on and on and I still have lots to tell you so back to where we were at 07:24 on the 07/07/2015 our beautiful daughter Delilah Elizabeth Sweetness made her (really rather dramatic) entrance into the world weighing in at 620g .

On the day she was born we were told she had a 30% chance of survival, but she is a tough little pickle who spent the next five months of her life in the NICU with the most amazing doctors and nurses we could ever have asked for and thanks to them today as I sit here writing this I have my whole life fast asleep in her crib.

Delilah is now a happy almost seven month old and now weighs a whopping 10 lbs and 1 ounce .

So as I was hinted at with the title of this post all the thing’s did happen and its been the most crazy, heartbreaking, joyous and downright scary seven months of our lives but now looking back over it all and seeing what an amazing strong little/rather big girl we have now I wouldn’t change a second of it.

We are one of the lucky ones and there isn’t a second of a day that goes past that we don’t think that being a premmie’s mum has made me look at the world in a whole new light and it really makes you appreciate every single moment.

So now I cant wait to have a little revamp on this blog and maybe do a few new section’s such as mummy bits and bobs (catchy don’t you think?) Wedding bits and bobs, because that is still happening this summer 🙂 and perhaps some foodie and lifestyle bits. still keeping in with the beauty and fashion side of things obviously.

Let me know what you think. And I will be back soon with that birth story as promised, but for now

Lot’s of love

Benita xx

Maybelline Baby Skin Instant Fatigue Blur Review:

Maybelline Baby Fatigue Blur Cream 01 RoseHello lovely people,Sorry it’s been quite silent on here lately but I just haven’t been in the mood to write anything and I really feel that when you feel like that it comes across in what you post so I thought I would take a step back for a bit, but now I’m back and it has to be said I am so ready for a ramble I just hope you are too.I bought this primer a few months ago and after completely falling in love with Maybellines original baby skin primer and I have reached for it nearly every day ever since. This one has a slight tint to it and so does exactly what it says on the tin (or tube) and instantly blurs imperfections and leaves your skin looking refreshed and brightened.I love the fact that this is such a brilliant primer as it’s great to have a nice base to work with when doing make-up, but I also adore the fact that you can use this on its own as it totally gives you that your skin but better look (and who doesn’t want that?)And I find a little goes a long way so this lasts ages (I think I bought mine back in september and it’s only just starting to get low now) but this is definitely something I shall be repurchasing I love it that much.Now I have quite pale skin and use the Cool Rose shade which is perfect as it just blends really well and at the time was the only shade Maybelline bought out in the UK but they have since bought out Warm Apricot too.Maybelline Baby Skin Instant Fatigue Blur Primer is available from your nearest Boots store or online at Boots.com for the fantastic price of £7.99 and they also have selected maybelline products on buy one get one half price at the moment (do you need more excuses???)Thank’s for reading and I shall be back soon.Love Benita

Favourite Beauty Products Of 2014

Favourite Beauty Products Of 2014

Hello you lovely lot,

So I know I’m the last person on the planet to do this but hey it’s better late than never right??? I actually found myself picking up the same product’s over and over again in 2014 so these really are all great product’s but that is something I plan on changing this year as there are so many fabulous product’s out there I would really be a bad beauty blogger if I just stuck to the same. And this is definitely the year to take more chances regarding colour’s especially in eye’s as I have tended to just stick with nudes and brown tones.

Anyway on with this post and as I mentioned before my memory card decided to go and break on me recently so i haven’t been able to put a picture of everything but of course there is a full list below 🙂

Starting with Foundations, Powders and Concealers:

Maybelline Baby Skin Instant Fatigue Blur Primer In shade Cool Rose:

I adore the entire baby skin range and isn’t just a clear primer like their original Baby Skin no, no, no this actually has a baige tone that really wake’s my skin up.

BareMinerals Original SPF15 Foundation in shade Fairly Light:

Okay so I know I’ve written a post on this little baby before and said it wasn’t my favourite but I don’t know if my skin has changed or something but over the last few month’s I’ve used this so much and I don’t actually think I could be without it now and I like the fact you can build up the coverage.

Rimmel Stay Matte Foundation in shade True Ivory:

This was my go to foundation in the summer as it stayed on for so long and once again gave me such great coverage without drying my skin (which is a miracle for me)

Avon Color Trend Concealer in shade Light:

God i love this concealer it give’s a nice light coverage and is perfect even if you don’t want to wear any other make-up and I like the fact that it’s in a stick form, I must admit I’ve used about three so far and have many more in my secret stash 🙂

Seventeen Phwoarr Paint Heavy Duty Under Eye Concealer:

On the day’s that I need that bit more help this is what i reach for, It cover’s up a multitude of sins and for that I love it. And a little go’s a long way so it will last for ages.

Collection Shimmer Shades Blusher in shade Blushalicious:

This has four pinky shade’s in a brick like pallet and you can pick one out and use it on its own or mix them together. I personally prefer to mix them and find they give me the perfect natural look.

Barry M Natural Glow Palette:

Ooh this is good, it has a range or everyday eyeshadows from pretty caramels and white’s to beautiful shimmery silver and gold and even the pink in this doesn’t make my eye’s look sore like some pink’s tend to do on me I just love it and also it has a really cute little blush with it too not bad for just under £6.

Loreal Miss Manga Mega Volume Mascara in Black:

2014 was the year I found my dream mascara, This is Amazing and it make’s my eye’s look huge i need never look at another mascara again. Plus it’s one of the few mascara’s that doesn’t make my eye’s stream (bonus!)

Maybelline Baby Lips:

So we have another Baby Skin/Lips product but these where the first thing’s I ever blogged about and i seriously haven’t been able to put them down since and am very thankful that Maybelline have bought out even more shades and i like the fact that they give you a sheer hint of colour and leave your lip’s feeling soft and cared for.

Collection Deluxe Lip Stick in shade Talullah:

This is such a great dusky rose shade and it’s a really creamy formula so doesn’t dry out your lip’s. This is definitely a your lips better lipstick.

Barry M Cor Balmy Lip Balm in shade Trouble and Strife:

Okay so more tinted lip balm but this time it’s in a sheer orange that is in fact the only orange to ever suit me. Plus it has a sherbet scent to it what’s not to love???

Seventeen Lip Lustre in shade Stop And Stare:

This is once again a dusky pink tone but this time in the form of a lip-gloss and it has quite a bit of shimmer to it in the tube but once you’ve applied it it’s really quite subtle and it doesn’t give you a sticky feeling like some lip-glosses.

And that is all of my beauty favourite’s of 2014. I can’t wait to see what treasure’s i find over the next year and hopefully you will see me being a little more daring, Be sure to let me know your favourite product’s in the comment’s.

Thank’s for reading.

Love Benita x

A Few Fashion Bits And Bobs

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Hello again lovelies,
I thought I would do a quick fashion post for you all right now as I would say that over the last year my choise of style has really changed, before I just used to wear quite boring clothes but then in the summer I started to take a bit more notice of what I actually liked and then i was over on polyvore earlier today and I found these beautiful pieces.
I actually bought a black and white skirt from h&m not so long ago that’s the same style as these two above and I love, love, love it so in 2015 I would really love to add a few more to my wardrobe and I think a slouchy jumper go’s perfect as the skirt’s themselves are quite dressy pieces and it just creates a bit more of a chilled out look!
I hope you like the look’s I’ve put together, be sure to let me know what you think and all of the link’s are listed below.
Thank’s for reading.
Love Benita x

Topshop beige top
£50 – topshop.com

Chicnova Fashion preppy shirt
£10 – chicnova.com

Black hoody
£10 – amazon.com

RED Valentino grey skater skirt
£135 – stylebop.com

Rag & bone skinny jeans
£190 – montaignemarket.com

Stretchy skirt
£7.59 – amazon.com

Dr. Martens leather booties
£68 – onlineshoes.com

Converse rubber sole shoes
£36 – converse.com

Backpack laptop bag
£72 – kipling-usa.com

Alisa Michelle chain jewelry
£16 – nordstromrack.com

Vintage necklace
£23 – pinkmascara.com

Coal slouchy beanie hat
£21 – backcountry.com

Warehouse mini hat
warehouse.co.uk

Wayfarer glasses
£6.60 – shopzerouv.com

Lush Review: Happy Hippy Shower Gel

Hello you lovely lot,

I hope you are all having a fabulous weekend and are ready for my first Lush review of 2015, I also hope you can forgive me for the lack of photo’s in this post but my memory card has decided that now is the perfect time to go and break on me.

I didn’t want to hold off on this review any longer though as I’ve had this shower gel for quite some time but what with december being very, very hectic (and that’s putting it lightly) I just didn’t have the time (but now I do so yay haha) anywho let’s get on with this shall we …

As just about anyone know’s by now I am a huge fan of Lush and could happily live in one of their store’s for the rest of my life yet somehow I had let this product slip past me and never given it a try, but then Ben and I went on our little trip to Brighton and I obviously had to pop in-to the local Lush (it would have been rude not too surely???) and as soon as I picked up a bottle of Happy Hippy I fell in love.

Firstly the scent is so fresh and uplifting, It’s got a strong grapefruit fragrance that is absolutely perfect to wake you up especially on those morning’s when you can hardly open your eye’s. It’s also got a slightly thicker consistency than most of Lush’s other shower gel’s and because of that I find my skin feel’s that much more moisturized and cared for, and in these cold winter month’s I’m sure you will agree that’s what we all need and it save’s me time to as I find that when I shower with this I don’t need to moisturise (bonus)

This is perfect for both men and women as the scent isn’t too masculine yet not overly feminine either, making it great all round.

All in all it’s a fabulous shower gel that I will most definitely be buying again

And you can buy your very own bottle of Happy Hippy from your nearest Lush store or online at Lush.co.uk It’s available in three sizes priced at…

£3.75 for 100g

£7.50 for 250g

And £11.95 for 500g

Thank’s for reading.

Love Benita x